


pa-pa-power

by vogeltje



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Drama, Gen, I Translated My Own Work And I Don't Feel Ashamed, It Hurt So I Wrote This, Not A Fix-It, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 05:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20148316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogeltje/pseuds/vogeltje
Summary: With his head tilted back Tony stares into the tremendously blue, boundless sky.





	pa-pa-power

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [pa-pa-power](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18734185) by [vogeltje](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogeltje/pseuds/vogeltje). 

> English isn't my native language. My apologies for all the mistakes.

It was once said, “with great power comes great responsibility”. Tony can’t remember where he’s heard it – probably just in some stupid movie. What he knew for sure was that with great power comes a feeling of a great invincibility. And in the very moment you feel invincible, you are done.

A hot dusty wind blows against him, he still can hear the sound of Howard’s voice in his head and he feels Steve walking beside him shoulder to shoulder. Rogers tries to make smaller steps to keep up with Tony, which looks hoot – he keeps falling out of steps. They walk through Camp Lehigh; they walk through nineteen fucking seventy. And to be quite honest everything that is happening to them reminds Tony of all the worst sci-fi movies he has ever seen.

At a certain point, it all seem to slip away from Tony. As if the power he now faces has made him completely helpless. Him who always knew best, how and what and when. The Infinity Stones. Time travelling. When did it go so far?

Well, he’s only Tony. Tony Stark, just an Iron Man.

“Are you scared of death, Cap?”

Steve keeps silent for some time, considering. He finally shakes his head and answers, swallowing the dryness on his lips.

“No, Tony. I’m not afraid to die anymore.”

“Not afraid to die anymore,” Tony repeats slowly as if he was trying to grasp the meaning of Steve’s words the best he could. “Why?”

“Because it’s not a life for me. You know, waking up every goddamn morning and remembering all over again that… that they are gone. I can’t live that life. And if I die trying to fix it, well fine. Let it be so. It’s better this way than just to accept.”

With his head tilted back Tony stares into the tremendously blue, boundless sky.

“Death over acceptance, great point. The thing is... What a lament it would be to die so close to happiness, right?”

There it was. This question, floating around them in the air. This question, stacking them to the ground. It claps their feet in irons forcing them to slow down. They stop.  
Tony gets a peering look straight into his face, but he doesn’t turn his head, resisting Steve’s staring.

It seems to him that there is an answer to the question somewhere up high in the dazzling cloudless sky. An answer to all the questions.

He just can’t reach it.

Tony closes his eyes and a soft humble smile touches his lips.

The sun is shining red through his eyelids. Burning on the back of his eaves.

“It’ll work out,” Steve says stubbornly.

Tony’s voice is soft and tired as he answers. “I know,” he says, “I don’t doubt that even for a second. But it just suddenly got me thinking. A foolish thought.”

He wishes he could say that he thought of all the dead and all the gone, of all that 3,5 billion people that have disappeared. Of Peter. He wishes he could say that all he did was for them.

But the truth was, at the moment he found the Gauntlet at his feet he had no chance to think at all. Definitely not of something sublime. He preferred to leave all the patriotic thoughts for Captain. Fighting and thinking of doing your duty to the country was more of his thing.

When he found the Gauntlet at his feet, he just did what needed to be done. Because he couldn’t act any other way.

Tony Stark knew for sure that there are – there have always been – five human senses. Sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. He could never have imagined, that power might be sensible.

But as the last of the Infinity Stone took its place on the Gauntlet, Tony felt how the power fulfilled him. It felt like it was running through his veins, filling him to the brim as if he was just an empty vessel. It was unbearably painful, burning hot but also – it was like blessing.

Tony suddenly felt an inexpressible lightness at it was no difficulty to snap his fingers.

He felt not just powerful but invincible.

Tony once heard that with great power comes great responsibility. What he now knew for sure was that in fact with great power comes a feeling of a great invincibility. And once it floods over you, you are done.

Tony thinks that dying, when you already have happiness in your hands, indeed is a lament.


End file.
